Chris Rock - No Apologies
Chris Rock. The No Apologies tour. Hisense Arena, Saturday August 2, 2008. August/September tour dates (Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Ireland, UK & US) below.
As I push through the turnstiles at the Stop Making Sense Arena (formerly the Vodafone velodrome) Cameo's song Word Up is throbbing. I immediately think of Barb Wire and, inevitably, of Pammy. I jam on the mental brakes. (Burning rubber, skid marks... I said STOP!)
Inside, it's Nelly Furtado and "I'm like a bird" and a three-screen presentation of African American Afros! I'm guessing this has something to do with the work of Malaak Compton, Chris Rock's wife. Compton is the founder-director of styleWORKS, a salon that provides free "dos" for women going from welfare to workforce.
It's a bit unnerving, though, as if I've happened on the wrong gig. Instead of Chris Rock, I'm gonna get Christian Rock. Some kind of evangelist. Funny, when Rock takes to the stage, his initials are projected. Huge. Kinda gothic. Rock, presumably, is not old enough (or radically feminist enough) to know that CR once stood for something.
Though his invitation to look at the world through his dark pupils is undoubtedly enlightening, Chris is more into self raising than consciousness raising, I reckon. And bully for him. Punters are paying between 65 and 150 bucks a ticket for one man plus warm-up and a DJ in the foyer. (I wouldn't pay $150 to have a royal command performance by George Carlin, via séance. But, there you go.)
Rock has pretty much sold out his smaller shows: the State Theatre in Sydney and Hamer Hall (a mere 2500-seater) in Melbourne. Last night's show -- his first (ever) show in Australia -- and next Saturday night at the Entertainment Centre in Sydney, are his biggest here.
Chris Rock (photograph supplied)
Just for comparison, in the first show of the current tour, last December, Rock played to 20,000 people at Madison Square Garden.
The Hisense Arena (the place was renamed in July) can seat about half that number. In its end-on stage configuration, as used here, it's about nine thousand. The stadium wasn't quite filled to the targa top, last night.
Just thinkin'... After ten days in Australia, Rock will have grossed enough to buy a new mansion in Alpine, New Jersey. (Think Blige, Jay-Z, Denzel... the rest of the community is as non-black as Melbourne seems, to Rock.)
Perversely enough, one of the less-interesting routines is about Rock jacking off into his car each time he refuels. Why? Because whenever he forks out that much money, he expects sex. No mention of his fans paying brothel prices for the pleasure of his company... where the "happy ending" is only relative.
I open my review of the show (scheduled to run in tomorrow's Herald Sun) with a quick reminder of one of Rock's brilliant early sketches about working for minimum wages at McDonald's. Remember this?
Another of the less successful running gags is about the lack of blacks in Australia; that we hunted Aborigines until the 1920s and ate them; that the ones he's seen in Melbourne warned him to leave. Given that Melbourne is far and away the least racist of the state capitals, this was met with patient laughter. Encouragement to get on with it.
[Just an aside, Chris. It would be far more interesting to ask why Melbourne is the least racist big city in Australia... I'm thinking about that one about the Irishman who declares that the Irish were the only people in Europe not to discriminate against the Jews. After a long pause, the Irishman continues, sweetly: "We never let them in in the first place."]
A few times during Rock's two-hour set, I imagined that he might have been improvising. There's something he does that fools you into believing he's making it up as he goes along. Something about the long build-up to a punchline that doesn't quite floor us.
One of the sustaining themes of the show is Rules. Minorities are alowed to abuse majorities, though not one another. The weak are alowed to abuse the strong. The powerless, the powerful. The disabled, the abled. The ugly, the beautiful. The fat, the skinny and so on. Any reversal of that abuse cycle is just mean, he says. As something of a munchkin himself, he gives us a taste of tall abuse. Screaming, apoplectic:
A majority of the show is portable -- in time and place -- without quite being universal or timeless. The topical references betray the preparation and the age of the show: Britney losing her kids, Amy Winehouse just plain losing it, Wesley Snipes's trial for tax evasion, Barack Obama having to denounce Ludacris's urge to paint the White House black, the disgrace of Marian Jones and steroid-abusing sportsmen, Anna Nicole Smith's black pall-bearers, yada yada yada.
Rock uses these slightly stale references as ways into -- and links between -- his best material.
It really is a delight to hear the Rock ricocheting from one idea to another. To ping from John McCain's age ("He's so old he used to own Sidney Poitier!) to Barack Obama ("a really black name... you hear it, you expect to see a man holding a spear.") to Ludacris to -- a propos of not much -- Flavor Flav. ("Flavy Flav must be killed!!") [Interestingly, not "whacked".] [And, indeed, it's a missed opportunity for a Public Enemy #1-style gag.]
His Hillary material is scintillating. Hilarious. [God I wanted to spell that Hillarious.] He puzzles as to why Hillary would want to work in the room where Monica gave Bill blow jobs.
Then comes Chris Rock's trademark racial high-wire act. Why Obama needs a white wife. Why black women hate white women who take the good black men. "There's only eight of them!" [i.e. good black men.] Why black men would dropkick Keira Knightley to get to Rosie O'Donnell. Better and worse! This is territory that Rock has been rutting for close to two decades. It's incorrect, it's charged, it's terribly naughty... and it's all painfully true... well, most of it!
As much as I enjoyed hearing Rock's Eddie Murphy "huh huh huh" laugh live, is two antidepressant hours, live, worth more than you'd pay for Rock's entire discography? Hmmm. Tens of thousands of Australians think so. Who am I to argue? [*gives thin melty butter smile*]
I can't wind up without mentioning Rock's brilliant warm-up dude, Mario Joyner. Joyner's only three years older than Rock, but he does a whole set about ageing. ("Midlife crisis? No! Midlife Christmas!")
The happy-to-be-single stuff actually reminded me of material Rock used to do about gays not being permitted to marry... and his envy of them.
Joyner's routine is classic piece of stand-up. It deftly entwines a couple of apparently unrelated threads.
Last night, he got our attention, held our interest, left us hungry for more and didn't eclipse the main man. But, hell, if you see that he's doing any solo gigs around town, do go see him.
Yeah, he does meat-and-potatoes stuff about cell phone reception, GPS navigation and ticket tearers at cinemas, but he ties it all up very neatly. (The sweet talking GPS machine -- instead of dissing him for missing his exit -- helpfully announced that it was calculating a new route... and wasn't bitching about his mistake two hours later! This, of course, was more positive reinforcement of his chosen bachelorhood.)
Chris Rock 2008 Tour Dates:
4 Aug 2008 7:00 P
State Theatre Sydney
5 Aug 2008 7:00 P
State Theatre Sydney
6 Aug 2008 8:00 P
The Civic, Auckland, New Zealand
8 Aug 2008 8:00 P
State Theatre Sydney
9 Aug 2008 8:00 P
Sydney Entertainment Center New South Wales
10 Aug 2008 7:00 P
Victorian Arts Center Melbourne
11 Aug 2008 7:00 P
Victorian Arts Center Melbourne
15 Aug 2008 8:00 P
The Borgata Hotel and Casino Atlantic City NJ
16 Aug 2008 8:00 P
Mohegan Sun Casino Uncasville CT
24 Aug 2008 8:00 P
Orpheum Theater Vancouver, BC
25 Aug 2008 8:00 P
Orpheum Theater Vancouver, BC
26 Aug 2008 8:00 P
Orpheum Theater Vancouver, BC
27 Aug 2008 7:00 P
Paramount Theatre Seattle WA
28 Aug 2008 7:00 P
Paramount Theatre Seattle WA
29 Aug 2008 7:00 P
Caesars Las Vegas NV
30 Aug 2008 7:00 P
Caesars Las Vegas NV
4 Sep 2008 8:00 P
Olympia Theatre Dublin
Please cue Simon and Garfunkel: "I am Chris Rock, I am in Ire-land."
6 Sep 2008 8:00 P
Hammersmith London
7 Sep 2008 8:00 P
Hammersmith London
12 Sep 2008 8:00 P
Apollo Theater New York NY
13 Sep 2008 8:00 P
Apollo Theater New York NY
As I push through the turnstiles at the Stop Making Sense Arena (formerly the Vodafone velodrome) Cameo's song Word Up is throbbing. I immediately think of Barb Wire and, inevitably, of Pammy. I jam on the mental brakes. (Burning rubber, skid marks... I said STOP!)
Inside, it's Nelly Furtado and "I'm like a bird" and a three-screen presentation of African American Afros! I'm guessing this has something to do with the work of Malaak Compton, Chris Rock's wife. Compton is the founder-director of styleWORKS, a salon that provides free "dos" for women going from welfare to workforce.
It's a bit unnerving, though, as if I've happened on the wrong gig. Instead of Chris Rock, I'm gonna get Christian Rock. Some kind of evangelist. Funny, when Rock takes to the stage, his initials are projected. Huge. Kinda gothic. Rock, presumably, is not old enough (or radically feminist enough) to know that CR once stood for something.
Though his invitation to look at the world through his dark pupils is undoubtedly enlightening, Chris is more into self raising than consciousness raising, I reckon. And bully for him. Punters are paying between 65 and 150 bucks a ticket for one man plus warm-up and a DJ in the foyer. (I wouldn't pay $150 to have a royal command performance by George Carlin, via séance. But, there you go.)
Rock has pretty much sold out his smaller shows: the State Theatre in Sydney and Hamer Hall (a mere 2500-seater) in Melbourne. Last night's show -- his first (ever) show in Australia -- and next Saturday night at the Entertainment Centre in Sydney, are his biggest here.
Chris Rock (photograph supplied)
Just for comparison, in the first show of the current tour, last December, Rock played to 20,000 people at Madison Square Garden.
The Hisense Arena (the place was renamed in July) can seat about half that number. In its end-on stage configuration, as used here, it's about nine thousand. The stadium wasn't quite filled to the targa top, last night.
Just thinkin'... After ten days in Australia, Rock will have grossed enough to buy a new mansion in Alpine, New Jersey. (Think Blige, Jay-Z, Denzel... the rest of the community is as non-black as Melbourne seems, to Rock.)
Perversely enough, one of the less-interesting routines is about Rock jacking off into his car each time he refuels. Why? Because whenever he forks out that much money, he expects sex. No mention of his fans paying brothel prices for the pleasure of his company... where the "happy ending" is only relative.
I open my review of the show (scheduled to run in tomorrow's Herald Sun) with a quick reminder of one of Rock's brilliant early sketches about working for minimum wages at McDonald's. Remember this?
You know what it means when they pay you minimum wage? You know what they're trying to tell you? It's like: "Hey, if I could pay you less, I would. But it's against the law."Nowadays, it would take most of that minimum wage for a Maccas kid to see Rock perform.
Another of the less successful running gags is about the lack of blacks in Australia; that we hunted Aborigines until the 1920s and ate them; that the ones he's seen in Melbourne warned him to leave. Given that Melbourne is far and away the least racist of the state capitals, this was met with patient laughter. Encouragement to get on with it.
[Just an aside, Chris. It would be far more interesting to ask why Melbourne is the least racist big city in Australia... I'm thinking about that one about the Irishman who declares that the Irish were the only people in Europe not to discriminate against the Jews. After a long pause, the Irishman continues, sweetly: "We never let them in in the first place."]
A few times during Rock's two-hour set, I imagined that he might have been improvising. There's something he does that fools you into believing he's making it up as he goes along. Something about the long build-up to a punchline that doesn't quite floor us.
One of the sustaining themes of the show is Rules. Minorities are alowed to abuse majorities, though not one another. The weak are alowed to abuse the strong. The powerless, the powerful. The disabled, the abled. The ugly, the beautiful. The fat, the skinny and so on. Any reversal of that abuse cycle is just mean, he says. As something of a munchkin himself, he gives us a taste of tall abuse. Screaming, apoplectic:
I hope Osama bin Laden crashes a plane into -- your mouth.Mouth seems NQR. Why not head? Or face? Or just into you? Mouth seems likely to be one of those "if only I'd said" moments. And yet the line stays with you. It's such an odd image. (The set is so rapid fire, there's no time to dwell. It's only hours later that I got the penetrative aspect to the, er, gag.)
A majority of the show is portable -- in time and place -- without quite being universal or timeless. The topical references betray the preparation and the age of the show: Britney losing her kids, Amy Winehouse just plain losing it, Wesley Snipes's trial for tax evasion, Barack Obama having to denounce Ludacris's urge to paint the White House black, the disgrace of Marian Jones and steroid-abusing sportsmen, Anna Nicole Smith's black pall-bearers, yada yada yada.
Rock uses these slightly stale references as ways into -- and links between -- his best material.
It really is a delight to hear the Rock ricocheting from one idea to another. To ping from John McCain's age ("He's so old he used to own Sidney Poitier!) to Barack Obama ("a really black name... you hear it, you expect to see a man holding a spear.") to Ludacris to -- a propos of not much -- Flavor Flav. ("Flavy Flav must be killed!!") [Interestingly, not "whacked".] [And, indeed, it's a missed opportunity for a Public Enemy #1-style gag.]
His Hillary material is scintillating. Hilarious. [God I wanted to spell that Hillarious.] He puzzles as to why Hillary would want to work in the room where Monica gave Bill blow jobs.
Then comes Chris Rock's trademark racial high-wire act. Why Obama needs a white wife. Why black women hate white women who take the good black men. "There's only eight of them!" [i.e. good black men.] Why black men would dropkick Keira Knightley to get to Rosie O'Donnell. Better and worse! This is territory that Rock has been rutting for close to two decades. It's incorrect, it's charged, it's terribly naughty... and it's all painfully true... well, most of it!
As much as I enjoyed hearing Rock's Eddie Murphy "huh huh huh" laugh live, is two antidepressant hours, live, worth more than you'd pay for Rock's entire discography? Hmmm. Tens of thousands of Australians think so. Who am I to argue? [*gives thin melty butter smile*]
I can't wind up without mentioning Rock's brilliant warm-up dude, Mario Joyner. Joyner's only three years older than Rock, but he does a whole set about ageing. ("Midlife crisis? No! Midlife Christmas!")
The happy-to-be-single stuff actually reminded me of material Rock used to do about gays not being permitted to marry... and his envy of them.
Joyner's routine is classic piece of stand-up. It deftly entwines a couple of apparently unrelated threads.
Last night, he got our attention, held our interest, left us hungry for more and didn't eclipse the main man. But, hell, if you see that he's doing any solo gigs around town, do go see him.
Yeah, he does meat-and-potatoes stuff about cell phone reception, GPS navigation and ticket tearers at cinemas, but he ties it all up very neatly. (The sweet talking GPS machine -- instead of dissing him for missing his exit -- helpfully announced that it was calculating a new route... and wasn't bitching about his mistake two hours later! This, of course, was more positive reinforcement of his chosen bachelorhood.)
Chris Rock 2008 Tour Dates:
4 Aug 2008 7:00 P
State Theatre Sydney
5 Aug 2008 7:00 P
State Theatre Sydney
6 Aug 2008 8:00 P
The Civic, Auckland, New Zealand
8 Aug 2008 8:00 P
State Theatre Sydney
9 Aug 2008 8:00 P
Sydney Entertainment Center New South Wales
10 Aug 2008 7:00 P
Victorian Arts Center Melbourne
11 Aug 2008 7:00 P
Victorian Arts Center Melbourne
15 Aug 2008 8:00 P
The Borgata Hotel and Casino Atlantic City NJ
16 Aug 2008 8:00 P
Mohegan Sun Casino Uncasville CT
24 Aug 2008 8:00 P
Orpheum Theater Vancouver, BC
25 Aug 2008 8:00 P
Orpheum Theater Vancouver, BC
26 Aug 2008 8:00 P
Orpheum Theater Vancouver, BC
27 Aug 2008 7:00 P
Paramount Theatre Seattle WA
28 Aug 2008 7:00 P
Paramount Theatre Seattle WA
29 Aug 2008 7:00 P
Caesars Las Vegas NV
30 Aug 2008 7:00 P
Caesars Las Vegas NV
4 Sep 2008 8:00 P
Olympia Theatre Dublin
Please cue Simon and Garfunkel: "I am Chris Rock, I am in Ire-land."
6 Sep 2008 8:00 P
Hammersmith London
7 Sep 2008 8:00 P
Hammersmith London
12 Sep 2008 8:00 P
Apollo Theater New York NY
13 Sep 2008 8:00 P
Apollo Theater New York NY
Labels: Chris Rock, Malaak Compton, Mario Joyner
posted by Chris Boyd at 4:27 PM
12 Comments:
I hope the Hamer Hall gigs shape up a little better. I opted for one of them because it was a smaller venue and with a lid on.
Good call on the venue. (Let us know how the Hamer hall gig goes.) CR's really sharp and really funny. Just thought I should make that clear!
The Age said 3000. Looked more to me.
FWIW. The Sydney Entertainment Centre has 9,990 fixed seats on the sloping tiers that surround the 50m x 29.5m arena floor. With an additional 1,552 seats on the arena floor, the auditorium will seat up to 11,542. The arena floor has a legal standing room capacity for up to 2,500 extending the total GA floor/fixed seating to 12,490.
Alpine tied with Miami Beach, Florida, ranking number one on Forbes Magazine's "Most Expensive ZIP Codes 2007" list, with a median home sale price of $3.4 million dollars.
You know what the guy next door to me does? He's a DENTIST. He aint the best dentist in the world... He aint in no Dentist Hall of Fame... He aint got no plaque for removing plaque!
Hahaha!
very good at the Hamer Hall, full house and everybody enjoyed it I thought... Very good comedian! Warm up act was great also!
Loved the "invent teeth" bit Maz. And thanks, Al, for the Hamer Hall update. I've been listening to Bigger & Blacker ever since. It's a cracker!
I can hear his voice when I read 'He aint got no plaque for removing plaque!'!~!!
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You ugly, spiteful illiterates give us anonymous commenters a bad name.
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